Wintersday with the Kitchen Krewe

Every Wintersday, I end up catering. Some years, its the Pact wanting a kitchen commander on hand, but when I'm not cooking for the Pact, I'm catering to my krewe.

I don't often find myself in Divinity's Reach, not one for Krytan politics after the Beetlestone stuff. Elona is nice, I studied under an Elonian, but if you want the full Wintersday experience, you've got to go to Divinity's Reach. Tixx's Toypocalypse is my favourite event in the celebration, though this year I've taken to enjoying a nice warm Cup of Spiced Apple Cider after a mount race.

Ah the mount races, its interesting to see the different approaches to the race people have. My approach? I warm up with a mug of my super secret Spiced Hot Cocoa, start off on my sand jackal, and switch mounts mid race depending on my needs. Its an idea I got while studying synergetics, why focus on one thing or another when you can focus on what ties them together.

I also took out my A551-ST golem and made a Bowl of Mintberry Swirl Ice Cream, something to remind me of the flavours after the festival when I'm back in Elona. Nothing to bring back memories quite like taste.

Bowl of Mintberry Swirl Ice Cream

 - 500 ml Ice Cream Base (roughly a bowl)
- 100 minutes in FR33Z-R golem
- A tiny bit of Mint extract
- Omnomberry mix
- Candy Cane for garnish

Throw everything in an A551-ST golem until processed nice and swirly. Place A551-ST containment unit into FR33Z-R golem for roughly 100 minutes, or until hardened.

Remove containment unit from FR33Z-R golem, let soften until ice cream can be safely served. Spoon into bowl and garnish with Candy Cane.

(I had a bit of a camera crisis and it deleted all of my photos, here is a picture of what delicious mintberry ice cream would look like instead)

Cup of Spiced Cider

- 2 Cinnamon Sticks
- Mulberries for flavour
- 4 L of Cider Base
- 5 Cloves
- 1-2 tsp ground Nutmeg

Add Cider Base to cooking apparatus. To Cider Base, add mulberries (there's a reason Tyrian chefs don't make this, I had to find the ingredients while wandering in the Mists).

Heat in cooking apparatus for a few hours. The longer you cook it, the stronger the spices get. Its also true for leaving the spices in after you've finished heating, make sure to remove all spices or it will get too strong. Leaving a stick of cinnamon in is alright, but the cloves absolutely must be removed.

Then our into mug and enjoy!

Mug of Hot Cocoa

- 1.5ish tbsp cocoa (I prefer the high cocoa butter darker powder)
- Enough fructose to make a visible sugar-cocoa blend
- Cinnamon and
- Nutmeg to taste
- Whipping cream

Make a blend sugar and cocoa, add to mug. Add a couple drops water, mix into a paste (this ensures it doesn't clump, something specifically fructose also helps with because of how refined fructose's texture differs from sucrose).

Add cinnamon and cocoa to taste.

Place whipping cream in 5HK-IT, process to the point before whipped cream where it is thick and foamy but still flows freely.

Add boiling water to 2/3 of the mug, mix. Once mixed, pour in whippedish cream to fill remainder of mug and enjoy!

Sorry, can't give you exact numbers, it is a super secret mix that is not licensed under Tyrian Food law.

Bring on the Onion Rings and Leave Me Stuffed With Mushrooms

Orr oh Orr... Great spice, nice sights, but I don't miss you one bit.

Mitsu here, and yes, I'm sober again. Don't blame Elrayn, she was just... well... she's a valued part of my krewe! You don't choose your krewe, your krewe chooses you.

Well, this week I bring you pub grub from the Nornic lands, or were the the lands of Nornia? Well, its the Shiverpeaks nonetheless, and while pubs are mostly a human thing, the Norns know how to take a few things, cobble them together like a Skritt, and end up with the tastiest thing you'd never think you want to eat!

Now that Zhaitan is gone, Orr is more open and easier to harvest. Crocus seeds have made their way north, and we can now grow hydrolithoponic saffron far faster than we can collect it from Orr. The Norns have really taken advantage of this in their Saffron Stuffed Mushrooms (is the Norn palate even sophisticated enough to recognize the delicate flavour of saffron?).

Now what would be a good brew without some greasy fingerfood? I may not be a human, but that doesn't mean I wasn't trained under one... Onion rings are wonderful, the light crispy outside of my batter of choice, seasoned lightly, with a nice sauce on the side for dipping... My eyes, oh they are just watering thinking about them.


Saffron Stuffed Mushrooms

- Loaf of (Saffron) Bread
- Saffron (in the bread) (very expensive in any meaningful quantity, use sparingly)
- Portobello Mushrooms (as many as needed)
- Shallots (my favourite onionoid)
- Cheese (optional)
- Elonian Wine (an Asura's gotta drink to keep up with Norn company somehow)

Set oven to 350 For bookahs.

In a pan, fry shallots in butter. Once translucent and starting to brown, add a liquid, I don't want to be sober so I used a bottled of fine Elonian Red (AN: I actually used a nice South African dry red wine, The Wolftrap, it makes a lovely butter based red wine sauce). A dry red will make better use of the natural sweetness of the butter, and play nicely on the shallots. Remember, this is totally optional, and saffron milk is definitely the better way to go!

Cube bread finely, add to pan, mix it up and have it absorb some, but not all of the sauce.

Grease a baking tray, and clean mushrooms, removing stems. Put spore side up, and gently pour sauce into cap. I like adding a small bit of white cheddar for appearance once baked. The really big portobellos? Norns love them for their size, fits perfectly into their hands.

Bake until cooked through, this will vary based on humidity, so don't be a bookah, know your oven! I baked for 9 minutes. Plate and serve.

Onion Rings

- Buttermilk
- Flour
- Onion
- Egg (optional)
- Seasoning as you please (cheffing is about discovery!)

Heat oil to... Ugh... this varies so much... Test how your oil fries, you want it hot enough that a piece of dough will look effervescent and eventually rise to the surface, but not so hot that it smokes. Figure out that setting, and commit it to your golem's memory, and thank the Eternal Alchemy you can even do that.

You don't want your oil too hot though, so do that after prepping everything else.

Ok, so there are a few ways you can handle batter, I like a thin batter on my rings, Norns like a thick batter, we will never agree.

Slice onions into horizontal slices, separate into toroids.

For a thin batter, make an eggwash and put it in a shallow bowl. In another shallow bowl mix flour with seasonings to taste.

Dip rings in eggwash and dredge through flour mixture, repeat once, and through in prepared fryer.

For a thicker batter, take your toroids and freeze them. Mix flour and spices as you please, separate and leave some for dredging, turning the rest into a semithick batter in your 5HK-IT golem.

Dredge frozen toroids into flour (freezing so it sticks), dip in batter, throw in fryer. And if the Dredge won't let you, dredge them through the oil instead.

Once the top side starts to brown, flip, continue frying for another half that amount of time. Remove, place on paper towel to dry, bowl, and serve. Ideally with a dip of your choice, I hear humans like ketchup, I don't.

The Maddening Thing From the Kitchen of the Mad King

Yes, yes, I have it, I have the shiny... its mine, and you can't have it!

You want to pry the precious from my lips?

"Get a grip Mitsu!"

I.. I must... consume... waffles...

They call to me... the shiny glittering... stones and dusts...

Top with cream... whipped, blood and make sure its nipped!

...and a bit of this, yes... his bloodstone won't be missed...

"Mitsu! What in the Eternal Alchemy are you doing???"

Maaagic... with blooDstone... I don't apprEciate you questioning my judgement on these waffles, miss. See, they are perfect the way they are!

"You sure about that? Let me try.."

No, you mustn't touch the precious thing!!!

*om nomnom crunch nom nom*

"You still sure about that? Look at your plate..."

Its fine, its excellent, its the pinnacle of perfect in waffle form! Plus the Bloodstone... hungers......

"...and what is this, perhaps more presumptuous consumption?"

NOOOOooooo!!!! DO NOT TOUCH MY ICE CREAM!!!

I've added just the right amount of salted Bloodstone to give it a sticky sweet texture, one rivaling the blood of the fallen!

"MITSU I TOLD YOU NO! PUT THAT STUFF DOWN NOW!!!"

NEVER! You will not have my precious!!!

"Don't make me beat you over the head with Ventari's tablet or my scepticaliper. Put the ice cream down."

*squish nom om squish buuuurp*

**WHACK**

Excelsior, Peacemakers!

Elrayn here, I had to beat her over the head to get her to put it down, she needs a night spent in Headquarters to sober up. Do me a favour and make sure she doesn't remember me hitting her over the head...

The Shadow of the Mad King Looms Over My Kitchen pt 2

Excelsior!

This week I thought I would try something a bit different. Every year I look forward to a slice of Pumpkin Pie, but a certain sous chef had something I wanted to try.

I just love the way the spices come together in Pumpkin Pie Spice, with that autumn warmth. Nutmeg is my favourite part, but ginger brings a bit of freshness, cloves help balance the taste of the nutmeg, and cinnamon gives it its signature warmth. With infinitely different blends, it can take many years to strike the perfect balance.

Usually I make two things, but I really do want to get back to the festivities, so let's make this faster than a progeny can ask questions!

Pumpkin Pie

- Baked Sugar Pumpkin

- tsp Nutmeg, freshly ground

- tsp Cloves, ground

- tbsp ground Cinnamon

- tsp Ginger Root, ground

- Sugar to taste, brown ideally

- egg

- Ball of Dough

You'l want to have your A551-ST puree the Sugar Pumpkin, adding your Spices, Sugar, and Egg at this point as well. I like to also add black pepper.

Taste your mixture? Don't like it? Add more spices to taste, adjusting them one at a time with small quantities.

Be careful how much you add, too much of Nutmeg or Cloves will ruin the taste, and do you really want to be the bookah who brings a pie to the party, only to have everyone try to it feed the ranger's pet?

Once you are satisfied, you'll want to start working with your Ball of Dough. This ball is a bit different, you'll want to use more butter and less water. Roll it out, place in pie tray, and crimp edges trimming excess pie shell.

Bake at 491.15 Korrect, 218 Common, or 425 For bookahs for the first 15 minutes, then reduce to 449.15 Korrect, 176 Common, or 350 For bookahs for the remaining 35-60 minutes.

Once ready, let cool, and serve, ideally with a bit of whipped cream. Below is a slice for myself, and a slice for my Charr Kitchen Comrade.

In thee spirit of the season, I thought I would help sous chef Seimur Oxbone finish off his left over Chalices of Bloodstone Chili. Bloodstone foods are spooky, right? I don't understand why he keeps making this stuff though, there are no legitimate culinary applications of Bloodstone!

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See yoU nExt Time, and haVe a nIce day!

The Shadow of the Mad King Looms Over My Kitchen pt 1

Double, no triple, trouble, toiling over as golem bubbles... Glitches peak while Phlunt speaks, and a Snaff entrant goes haywire amongst technogrubble.

Mitsu here, and in the spirit of the season, I've been shucking candy corn, peeling pumpkins, and baking myself into glitchy mess...

One of my favourite cookies is a seasonal one, Spicy Pumpkin Cookies, they're a delicious treat with just the right amount of heat. This was the first time I made them myself, usually I buy them from other chefs. I learned a lot making them, like how the face in the pumpkin is made. Aaah, I should make a second batch and share them with my guildmates!

I've also made a loaf my old krewe taught me how to make, a Slice of Pumpkin Bread is my favourite way to start the day in the autumn. Butter it a bit, hand it to a uWAVE-IT, and its fresh and gooey just like it is when its hot out of the oven.

I know, I know, the Pumpkin Bread is an Ascaolnian bread, and you may think its strange that Asura would be enjoying it so thoroughly, but there's a story there that someday I'll share, but till then its something you'll just have to bear. Point is, don't let some bookah tell you what you can and can't eat.

My ears, there's just so much you can do with a pumpkin, and not enough weeks to explore all of them!


Before we even get into this, bake your Sugar Pumpkin at 449.15 Korrect, 176 Common, or 350 For bookahs, until it passes the poke test (will a skewer pass through the peel cleanly?).


Slice of Pumpkin Bread

-Bowl of Pumpkin Pie Filling (which includes your spices)
- Bowl of Bakers Dry Ingredients (1 part sugar to flour, baking soda, about as much salt as baking soda)
- Butter or oil


Pumpkin loaf is one of those things that just gets me so excited to start the day. Bring it for your krewe, they'll love it too!

For this loaf, you'll want to make a batter rather than a dough. You may have noticed that there isn't water in the recipe, but if you've included the egg, butter, and pie filling, you don't need water.

First, I put my dry ingredients into a bowl. Next you'll want to drop an egg and butter/oil in if you are using that, I like oil because its a liquid lipid. Mix this a bit, but not enough to start forming a dough.

Spoon your baked Sugar Pumpkin into the mixing bowl, add your spices, and mix till a batter like consistency. You shouldn't need water! If you need water, discombobulate it, throw it out, or something, combobulate a new mixture!

For spices, I used powdered ginger, a few dashes, a few dashes powdered cloves, two literal pinches of nutmeg (Charr, please wear gloves, as nice as your fur is, I don't want it in my mouth), more than a few dashes cinnamon, and a little bit of black pepper.

Now that you have a batter, spoon this clumpy lump of to be cooked loaf into a bread pan.

Now bake at 435.15 Korrect, 162 Common, or 325 For bookahs, for roughly 60-90 minutes, depending on the ambient magic levels of the region.

Spicy Pumpkin Cookies

- Ball of Cookie Dough (cake type)

- 1 Ghost Pepper (or as much as you can tolerate)

- 3 Bowls of Candy Corn Glaze

- Bowl of Pumpkin Pie Filling

Make your ball of cake type cookie dough (this uses more flour and relies on moisture from other ingredients, like pie filling), add in Ghost Peppers, I used a couple dashes of Dave's Gourmet Ghost Pepper Sauce (I ran out of Melinda's Naga Sauce), and mix into a dough.

Now comes the hard part.

You'll want to take a small portion of dough, and put it in your 5HKE-IT golem with a few drops of green food dye, to make the stems.

Now you'll want to add a lot of orange food dye to the main bowl and mix, mix, and mix.

Once that's done, spoon out circle portions onto a greased cookie sheet, you should be able to make six per sheet.

Take a bit of the stem dough from your 5HKE-IT golem, and shape it on the tray into a stem.

For the eyes and mouth, put Candy Corn Glaze to make them. I made the mistake of only doing it for the eyes. The glaze will cause it to bake in such a way that it doesn't rise in that spot (oh, yeah, its a cake type, so I included baking soda).

Bake at 505.15 Korrect, 232 Common, or 450 For bookahs, for about 8-10 minutes, depending on ambient magic levels.

Remove from oven and let stand till ready to serve.

These are just a prototype, those mouths are not a mistake!

I don't have a sponsor for today, but I do want to tell you about https://www.extra-life.org/

They accept donations for the Children's Miracle Network, something my home community benefited a lot from when I was just a progeny. Consider donating to them and watching Arenanet's stream for the foundation.

Ahai From Jahai, With a Chili and Chowder

Ahai, Mitsu here!

Since the Summit, I've been spending most of my time in the Jahai Bluffs. And well... its been a long week... Should have been wearing my aqua breather, didn't want to ruin it though.. If that brandstone dust gets into your lungs, let's just say your body will be glitching out for a week or few...

After a week or so of getting healthy, I'm back. I'm behind schedule, and my ears is there ever a lot of work to do!

Before I got sick, I was working on some things with Prickly Pear, helping out the Zephyrites in Dry Top to get my licenses, and I got this craving for chili. Turns out the Zephyrites have a really good recipe for a vegetarian chili.

Bowl of Sweat and Spicy Beans

- Prickly Pears, based on the number of bowls
- Ghost Peppers (that's not the number of Ghost Peppers, its the number of processed Ghost Peppers, 10 dashes of a sauce is what I used)
- Kidney Beans
- Piles and Piles of Salt and Pepper

Most Kidney Beans on the trading post will be dehydrated, there isn't much point in trying to find them fresh, though I find the best ones to use are the ones stored in brine. Sometimes when you rehydrate a kidney bean, it remains kinda hard. Not the kind of thing you want.

I rehydrated mine the day before, then boiled them till they were soft yet firm. Drain and mix in Prickly Pear. Add a nice heaping Pile of Salt and Pepper, a few dashes of Ghost Pepper, and you'll be getting healthy in no time.

I added onion and a couple other varieties of beans to mine, as usual, dress as you please, its what discovery and exploration is about.

You would not believe how glad I was to have brought this with me to Jahai. The meaty texture felt satisfying, and the heat brought something when my sense of taste had been all but stripped by brandstone dust. Sure, it might not sound fun to sear the esophagus, but there's just something about it that makes me forget about the pain of swallowing crystalline dust. It was quite a lot like a good bowl of chili.

Bowl of Dilled Clam Chowder

- Bowl of Cream Soup Base
- Clams (I used about 50 or 75)
- Potato
- Onion
- Dill

This is one of those more than 4 ingredient dishes that uses nested recipes to get around the four ingredient limit, and a dish that reminds me of home in Metrica Province.

While sick, I wanted a personal favourite, and a Bowl of Clam Chowder seemed perfect. As a young progeny, we occasionally have had a Clam Chowder made with local ingredients, with some imported from Brisbane.

To make this, I first prepared a Roux to make a Cream Soup Base to work with, chopped Onions and Potatoes, as well as some celery and carrot (if you're going to get healthy, you need to be well nourished, nutrient sources can do a lot when you don't feel like eating much of anything).


Add Clams and Onions (as well as other things you'd like to add for flavour) to Cream Soup Base and let simmer. Let this thicken, you're going to be adding a lot of liquids later, and want to keep emulsion!

If you want to make the dilled version, this is a great time to add Dill Sprigs, or any other spices. I made mine with Dill, but also added a Pile of Salt and Pepper.

In another pot, you'll want to boil Potatoes in clam juice (and any other root vegetables you might like to add, carrot in my case). Once root vegetables soft enough to poke a fork through without effort. add them and the liquid they were boiled in to the main pot. I use clam juice to add to the clam flavour.

Once the two pots have been mixed, the soup is ready to serve. For better flavour, age 24-48 hours in a hypothermic unit. This lets the flavours come out better, becoming refreshingly pleasant, like seaspray.

When I'm sick, I like to have things that remind me of the best times of my life, it helps make me feel a bit better. What are some foods you like to eat when you're sick? Let me know down below!

Tyrian Food Law is Unfair, but Hey, Have Some Sorbet!

Ahai friends, Mitsu here!

Last time, I mentioned a bit about food law in Tyria. For the most part, you're free to discover what you can with the ingredients you have, combining them in different ways to create new dishes, but occasionally there are laws that can get in the way.

Licensing is one of the big food laws in Tyria. For the most part, licensing is there to protect a food from adulteration, but like last week's Butternut Squash Soup, not all licensing is about protection of the idea of the product. Sometimes licensing will exist to restrict who can make and sell a product, or consume a product in the case of many oyster and mussel dishes.

Food that can be dangerous gets restricted sometimes. This limits who can produce it to those who have been trained to produce it safely. Not everyone gets that training, and sometimes that training can be extremely expensive or very hard to get ahold of.

The other major food law is the Four Ingredient Law. Food allergies are dangerous, sometimes its only a bit of itchiness, but sometimes they are more dangerous than many of the foes I've fought. Its easier to rally a friend than it is to save someone from anaphylactic shock. Tyria's Four Ingredient Law requires food produced for general consumption to be composed of only four ingredients, some of which may themselves be made of ingredients, for the purpose of keeping track of what is in one's food. As a side effect, you get some recipes that are awkward or can be enhanced by adding small features.

This week, I bring you a dish where food law creates a bit of a paradox, and a nice dessert from the desert to go with it.


Spinach Burgers

This is where you run into a bit of a paradox. You see the cheese in the picture, but it is not in the ingredients list. Cheese helps stick the spinach to the burgers.

- Loaf of Bread
- ground Slab of Red Meat
- Spinach Leaves (a handful will wrap a burger, unless you are a Norn or like Norn sized burgers)
- Tomato Cheese

So, the story with the cheese goes a bit like this, the current photo in the recipe is the current dish, the recipe is the old dish, and the photo is of the patty that goes on the bun. Ideally you'd top with a tomato and condiments of your choosing, but it looks like cheese is used as a binder for the spinach to the burger, making wrapping wilted spinach easier. As a result of changes to the Book of Recipes over time, we end up with a five ingredient dish, something not legal in Tyrian food law, so in keeping with the law, I've created the four ingredient version for the new image. You cannot easily see it, but there is melted cheddar in between the spinach and burger patty.

How to make this, ow to make this... Well, first off, cook your burger, and top with a little bit of cheese towards the end of the cooking cycle. In another pan, heat and wilt spinach leaves, or you can use a uWAVE-IT golem very carefully (seriously, its easier to just pan wilt it). If you have to use a uWAVE-EH, you're probably with the Inquest. Then just wrap the wilted spinach around the burger, using the cheese on top and bottom bun to hold it in place.

Bowl of Prickly Pear Sorbet

This one was wonderful to make, think epicentre of strawberry, watermelon, and bubblegum, melting in your mouth with creamy goodness, with a hint of lime.

- 5 Prickly Pears per litre
- Ice Cream Base as per above
- Glacial Shard
- Lime to taste

I wish I had gotten a pic from the action cam on this one, but didn't think to... Anyways, slice the top and bottom of the pears off, the down the centre through the skin, and peel the skin away from the flesh like a layer of onion.

Toss fruit into A551-ST golem, proccess until it makes a slurry.

Add Ice Cream Base. If using pre-frozen Ice Cream, you can skip the following steps and instead just process and serve.

Take mixture and move to metal bowl. In a larger metal bowl, add crushed Glacial Shard, and put bowl with mix inside endothermic bowl. Mix gently while it thickens, and once sufficiently thick, put away to finish freezing.

Scoop into bowl and serve.

While this dish does require a license to make, because of how dangerous Prickly Pear hairs can be (think microscopic splinters getting into your skin), getting a license is not that difficult, and the Zephyrites are happy to teach.

Until next time, happy eating!

...oh... and yes... that is the actual colour of the sorbet...

Fun Facts About My Kitchen Golems pt 1

A551-ST

The A551-ST golem is a unit meant for slicing. Its name comes from the fact that it is the 551st golem design in the Appliance line, Slicing Through variant. Its incredibly useful for more than just slicing though, hence why I call using it "processing," with the end result being a processed food even when not sliced through. My particular model is a Mk2, which comes with a grating, shredding, and (im)perfect slicing processing unit.


5HK-IT

The 5HK-IT golem is the fifth version of the Handheld Kombobulator, Intelligent Timing variant. I don't have to use it often, but its incredibly simple. Put ingredients into a container of sorts, and place in golem's hands.

The IT variant is particularly useful, as its mixing better kombobulates by timing its motions intelligently in response to how the product inside is mixing.

If you want a perfect emulsion, there's no better way to go, unless you're a Skritt, then maybe the shininess of shaking it will amuse you for hours...

Southsun and Beyond Through a Soup, Salad, and Sauce

Mitsu here, commanding the kitchen, Pact, and some bookahs!

Years back, the Consortium tried to make Southsun a lovely travel destination, and theoretically speaking it would make an amazing place to relax, maybe be served a drink or two, forget about metagenomics and their impact on the flavour of sauces for a while (is it the sauce or the taster that's off?).

Fighting the karka, because some bookah had to go and disturb what's best left alone, led to the discovery of some wonderful ingredients! Passion fruit in particular was a big one, and it got me thinking... Let's toss a salad, destress a bit, and maybe roast some karka too!

Bowl of Salad a la Consortium (oh what a fitting name)

Before we even get into the salad, let's get back to basics. We need a Bottle of Tropical Dressing, so...


Bottle of Tropical Dressing

- Pile of Salt and Pepper
- Vegetable Oil (plus a bit of EVOO to taste) or other neutral oil
- Vinegar 1:1 with the oil, roughly (I used white wine vinegar, white vinegar works too, passion fruit vinegar is when you want to make the pinnacle of dressings)
- Sprig of Dill, about one  sprig will do, scale up as needed
- Ginger Root (extract the juice or skip to powdered), maybe 5% by volume of juice, 2.5, somwhere in that range
- 3-6 Passionfruit, juiced

I didn't think to grab a picture of the open Passion Fruit, but the natural geometry inside is beautiful!

Cut fruit in half, use knife or spoon to separate seeds from pith, throw seeds and pulp surrounding them into your A551-ST Mk2 to process to a juice. Filter out seeds, pour into dressing bottle.

Add herbs and spices, oil, and vinegar, close bottle, and hand off to your 5HK-IT golem to mix to full emulsion.

...and with that out of the way...


Actually a Bowl of Salad a la Consortium

- Bottle of Tropical Dressing to taste
- a Nornian handful of Spinach Leaf
- Head of Lettuce
- Walnu.. Almonds (Walnuts, I had Almonds on hand)

Have your A551-ST Mk2 clean itself out, then use it to grind your nuts. It should look like this, and once it does, set it aside.

Cut your Head of Lettuce into mouth sized manageable chunks. I like to use a technique my Elonian mentor taught me, take a chef's knife, cut the heart out of the lettuce by making a triangular pyramid cut (no, this is not a pun, my chef mentor was actually Elonian, and this was the cut he taught me when I was learning in the Mediza district), then just pull the triangle pyramid of a heart out, square base works too, but you lose more lettuce that way, its wasteful, so don't. Quarter the head, then simply slice into strips.

Toss your lettuce and spinach together, distribute roughly evenly, sprinkle Almo... Walnuts on top, dress, and serve! 

Oh, I added tomatoes because I had one that was going to turn, and the last thing you want is an undead Branded tomato (seriously, did the thought even cross your mind?). If you stick to a recipe, sure, you get the essence, but you miss out on discovery, and discovery is the best way to learn!

Bowl of Swee.. err.. Butternut Squash Soup (for 2... or 12 really)

- Cream Soup Base (Roux with buttermilk added, keep thin enough to be a cream soup base)
- Butternut Squash (the size and quantity determine the quantity of every other ingredient, so its hard to be specific with them)
- Stick of Butter (totally unnecessary if you used a butter based roux)
- Cayenne Pepper
- Ghost Pepper (a little goes an.. burning BURNing BURNING!)
- Apple (one is sufficient for a smaller squash)
- Pile of Pumpkin Pie Spice

As you can see, I am not certified to make any Bowls of Sweet and Spicy Butternut Squash Soup, but I'm not going to let rules stop me from experimenting!

First off, prep your oven to 450 proper units (that's 175C for most people, and 350F for a select few humans).

Get a baking pan or cookie sheet, cut your squash in half down the length, gut it of its seeds with a standard spoon, place flat side down on tray, bake till you can put a toothpick into the neck without effort.

Get your A551-ST Mk2 ready, because you're going to spoon the squash from its skin into it, process, and move to a soup pot. Heat over medium heat, then reduce to light simmer.

In a sauce pan, make your roux. Once that is done, add Buttermilk, Cayenne Peppers, (not certified to say this, because certification requires you to get lucky when talking to Pact Suppliers or spend everything you have) but Ghost Peppers (I use Melinda's Naga Sauce, look it up on the Black Lion Trading Post search page), processed Apples, and Pile of Pumpkin Pie Spice.

Once that is all nicely mixed, pour into soup pot and mix in. Serve.

I would have a sponsor, but after Canach and the Karka Incident, I'm not accepting gold from the Consortium. Although, if I accepted that gold, I could have gotten certified for the soup...

Beloved Burgers

My ears, look at that date! Turns out I'm late...

Mitsu here, I was working with my guildmates in the Domain of Kourna, its a lot of work to clean up after a hivemind overseer kicks the bucket, and I took an arrow from a jittery ex Inquest.

Like with Koss, not all Awakened and enslaved Asura wanted to be part of Joko's plans. Some of his top brass didn't want to be awakened, but were forced to. It won't be easy, but we can help them adjust to a free life, and for the enslaved Asura, if they are willing to leave the Inquest, we should be able to help them adjust to a new life.

After finally being able to return home to my Asuran Kitchen, I made myself some burgers. I had ground Slab of Red Meat left over from when I made the Krytan Meatball Dinner, so I made burger patties with that!

Cheeseburger

Let's start with the simple, a cheeseburger can be built on into any burger, its nice, its simple, its:

- 1 ground Slab of Red Meat

- 1 Loaf of Bread Sesame Seed Bun (a fresh bun is better in my opinion, but a Loaf of Bread is good for learning prototypes)

- slice of Cheese Wedge

For this, I made a Parmesan frico and put it on top of the burger. To make this, take a handful of Parmesan and put it in a frying pan, fry, flip, and top burger with your Parmesan frico cheese wedge slice!

For the patty itself, I shaped it by hand to be a circular patty, and then froze my extras. The ones I cooked fresh went straight into the pan.

flip burger once its formed a nice brown crust on the bottom, and press down with spatula. This maximizes cooking surface contact, helping to make a delicious crisp, and with the cheese inside the burger from our Meatballs, you will get a deliciously amazing burger.

To go with the umami flavours of the Parmesan, I also added soy sauce and rice vinegar to the pan while cooking, playing it up with those notes.

The Cheeseburger is like an almost blank canvas, dress it how you like, its only wrong if you don't!

 

Horseradish Burger

- 1 Sesame Seed Bun (Congratulations! You've graduated from the College of Cheeseburgers, now you don't have to use a Loaf of Bread!)

- 1 ground Slab of Red Meat

- 1 Horseradish Root, creamed and sauced

- 1 part of a Head of Lettuce (trust me, you don't want the whole thing, and mine was a first prototype, not yet in production)

Take your basic burger, slather or squirt some creamy horseradish onto it, and serve. Unless you're me, then melt cheddar into a slice and add that too!

Deluxe Burger

- 1 Sesame Seed Bun

- 1 ground Slab of Red Meat

- 1 part of a Head of Lettuce (do I have to explain myself again?)

- 1 sliced Tomato, vine ripened or Roma, not hothouse or beefsteak (trust me on this, its a much better flavour)

Top burger with a part of a Head of Lettuce and Tomato slices. I like to add cheese, but as before, you can't go wrong if you dress it as you like.

I made a cheddar cheese slice by using a similar technique to the frico. Once the cheddar had melted, I took the pan off the stove, and stuck it on the biggest metal heat dissipator I had, shaped it with my spatula, and placed it on the burgers once cooled. Similar techniques can be used with different cheese, but you need to adjust based on moisture content, age, and other factors.

The Finished burger pair can be seen here. I also added a bit of mayo and barbecue sauce to my Deluxe Burger. After almost a decade and hundreds of prototypes, I finally achieved a perfect Deluxe Burger, never in my life have I had a burger that good. Just one more step in understanding the Eternal Alchemy as a Chef and Kitchen commander.

For those wondering, I set my cheese slices on an aluminum sheet while I finished the burgers. Here's what they looked like!

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Krytan Meatball Dinner, A Human Food for All

Mitsu here, bringing you a taste of Kryta!

Some foods are inherently cultural, a thing I discovered as I ventured further and further from my home in Metrica Province. One such dish is a human favourite, Krytan Meatball Dinner, a dish with regional history that goes back to before The Searing.

Its a Krytan dish, and humans tell me that's important, its important that its not just human, but Krytan. Humans are silly at times, they really want people to know that they are Elonian, or Canthan, Ascalonian, or in the case of this food, Krytan. Don't ask me why this distinction is important, only some bookah would really care, and just because Scarlet left her mark in Asuran history doesn't mean I don't welcome the Sylvari in my krewe. Politics are human, iteration, invention, and innovation are Asuran.

Food is about hospitality, and while there is a right and a wrong way, and well, caring about the history of a dish doesn't change the end result enough to be meaningful.

What does change the dish is the technique and where your ingredients come from. Krytan grain fed cattle Slab of Red Meat taste different from Shiverpeaks dolyak Slab.

That said, if you want to be true to form, use Krytan ingredients where you can. They aren't hard to get ahold of, and they can be good for some dishes. This dish also benefits from using human (not necessarily Krytan) meat processing techniques. More on that when we get to the meat of the dish.

This dish uses garlic bread for both the meatballs, its a standard in ground Slab of Red Meat, and as an excellent side for the Krytan Meatball Dinner

Garlic Bread

- Slice of Buttered Toast Bread
- Head of Garlic (I used powdered garlic, fresh garlic works too)
- Parsley (I prefer using dried)











Butter your bread, sprinkle garlic, parsley, and/or other herbs of your choice, as long as they work with the dish.

Stick in oven set on medium high till toasted. When done, it should look as below, not darker.

Dry out the ones you'll use for meatballs.

Meatballs

- Slab of Red Meat, ground, scale to recipe size
- 4 slices of Garlic Bread per above
- 1 Egg per above
- 1 Cheese Wedge per above (I used Smoked Oka for flavour, and yes, I used the entire wedge, flavour is matters more than anything else in a dish)

Process the Garlic Bread in an A551-ST golem, or mill if you don't have access to magitech. Use A551-ST golem to shred cheese, and I don't know how humans would do this, so hit up your local Black Lion Trading Company if all else fails!

Throw ground Slab of Red Meat into a bowl. Add egg, crumbed Garlic Bread, and shredded Cheese Wedge. Homogenize as much as you possibly can using your hands, using an A551-ST golem here will result in a very soft and creamy texture, and well, you want your balls meaty...

Remember that this is a human dish, and I don't know what it is about humans, but that means making your Meatballs like a Charr's, comically oversized.

Once not quite homogenized, trust me, you don't want it homogenized, I made that mistake, I love my A551-ST golem, the Mk IIs not so much, make them into balls in your hands.

Cook in pan in medium heat, covered, until cooked through.

Dill Cream Sauce

- Dill Sprig
- Bowl of Herbed Poultry Stock
- Bowl of Roux, see recipe here
- Bowl of Sour Cream (replace with buttermilk if using a dry stock)

Quantities of all ingredients are scaled for thickness and flavour, I used a half litre of buttermilk, and it thickened as it cooled.

While Bowl of Roux is hot, mix in the stock, Bowl of Sour Cream. Let it simmer until it reaches desired thickness, or add water if you need to thin it.

Krytan Meatball Dinner

- Meatballs (I like to make it very obvious meatballs are in the dish, skritt might not notice if you don't, so keep it shiny!)
- Pasta Noodles (trust me, save yourself a headache and BLTC this)
- Bowl of Dilled Cream Sauce

Once your pasta is cooked, drain, plate, top with balls and sauce, pretty simple, hard to get wrong.

Drown it in sauce! Give it something for your Garlic Bread to soak up, and enjoy!


And now not a word from our sponsers! The White Mantle wanted to fund this, and not happening. After Caduceus, I never want to see another White Mantle again.

You can get the ingredients for this almost anywhere in Tyria, so if you don't want grain fed Krytan cattle, feel free to slay a Shiverpeaks dolyak.

See ya next week!

As always, any questions or suggestions, let me know down in the comments!